crisisrain | ♐ 009 // [Voice]

[She was gone... He knew it would come to this one day; after all, this is how things were supposed to be. Instead, he felt sick, angry, and it hurt so much more than he thought it would. More than anything however, he was confused. What was he supposed to do now? Just continue on as if nothing happened? He couldn't forget her, he had promised hwe that. But losing her yet again was just heart-breaking.

He sat there on the edge of his bed, journal in hand. What do you say at times like this? He didn't want sympathy, he didn't want anyone to know he hurt. When it came to emotions he liked to keep them strictly to himself. So he laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh, more of a desperate one with no punchline to the joke. He didn't care either. When he stopped he opened the journal.]

[The following is directed to house 12 more than anything.]

I'm gonna need some time to myself for a while, so I'm leavin' the house. I'll be back soon though, take care of the garden for me.

[Filtered to Buffy | Unhackable]

I was ignorant, sorry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Then I... n-never mind, I shouldn't bother you with things that are my problems. I mean, unless you really wanted to know, but I don't see why you would, so, um...

I've got enough problems of my own, it'd be nice to hear how other people are sufferin' too. Enlighten me.

[Smoooooth.]

But we were talking about you, not me...

[Deeeerrrrrp.]

You don't wanna know my suffering, kid, it'd just make you depressed.

How do you know that until you tell me?

Because yer the kind of kid who gets miserable easy.

I am not!

... okay, so maybe I am, but that doesn't matter!

[...]

Wait, I've got an idea. I'll tell you about what's bothering me if you tell me what's bothering you. That way it's fair for both of us, right?

Mine's kinda simple; someone I cared about got sent home.

Your turn!

Raven...

What? I told ya the truth.

But there's more to it than just that, isn't there? Besides the not being able to see them again.

[And as an afterthought, he'll add a somewhat crude filter to show that he's willing to listen.]

[He'll be checking that filter to make sure it's not hackable.]

What makes ya think that?

[It's probably at least decently safe, but Raven can make it safer if he wants.]

Because this reminds me of how I acted when someone I... someone very important to me was sent home.

[He may be derpy, but he's not dumb.]

[He already has done.]

I've never been the kind of person to sit and cry about somethin'. I knew it was going to happen, I just didn't expect it so soon.

[No he goes into hysterics instead then acts stoic about it :|]

But even knowing it's going to happen doesn't make it hurt any less when it does.

I think it kinda does, it prepares ya for it in advance.

I guess maybe a little bit...

I'll put it simply for ya, I'm not the type of person who talks about his feelings.

You really are just like Richter sometimes. Um, not that that's a bad thing or anything!

Richter?

[Who is this person?]

Richter is a... well, um, he was my... boyfriend. He always used to say that putting emotions into words lessened them, so he didn't like to talk about his feelings either. That's why I said you reminded me of him when you said that.

[wait a sec, let's make this awkward.]

I remind you of yer boyfriend?... I don't swing that way, sorry Emil.

What? Th-that's not what I meant! I don't think of you like that at all! I mean, it's not that I don't like you or anything-- actually I like you a lot, but... I didn't mean it like that!

Edited 2011-08-16 19:34 (UTC)

[Long stare of silence.]

Good.

But most men are like that, it's rare ta find a guy who openly talks about these sorts of things.

... maybe that's why so many people call me girly sometimes.

[Voice/Filter]

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