crisisrain | ♐ 004 // [Voice]

[Raven is sitting in a tree outside house 12, bow in hand. Around his neck is a very warm looking scarf, given to him by Miyabi. Despite the fact he's complaining, it doesn't seem as though he actually cares, he's just doing it because he can. OOC: Also all other threads would take place before Yuri and Vash.]

I'm startin' ta feel real sorry for all those new feathers, showin' up in weather like this. Ya must be absolutely insane if ya think this snow is fun, or even pretty! I hate snow, snowmen, snowballs, snowstorms, igloos, icicles, ice cubes, ice cream, all of it! Urgh...

Please tell me it's gonna start gettin' warmer soon. I don't know how much more of the cold this old man can take.

[Filtered to Vash | 50% unhackable]

Vash old pal? I take it all that noise over the journal would mean yer back to normal! How'd ya feel about meetin' me fer a drink at the bar tonight? I got the feelin' I'm gonna need a really hard drink later on.

[Filtered to Yuri | 99% unhackable]

Hey, Yuri! I've got an arrow with yer name on it! [He holds up an arrow to the camera, it has Yuri's name crudely written on it, followed by a little patronizing heart.] I'm gonna shoot it at your face! Hah!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well then, don't take too long to drink up. I want to try this stuff!

I was talkin' to you. Do ya think I look anythin' like a girl? Look at this facial hair! This is the facial hair of a manly man! Girls don't get sideburns like these!

Yeah well! [He stands up and strikes a rather goofy pose.] A girl would never have manly muscles like these! [He flexes his arms and changes the pose. Nope. He still looks like a dork.]

NO! Ya can't beat my manly musk! My fans around the world adore old Raven and his gorgeous physique! You've got nothin' on me! Flex all ya want!

So you get the girls who like things that stink. All the girls swoon for my manly golden locks and charming smile~

Edited 2011-01-10 15:50 (UTC)

Then yer just attractin' the hussies! The finer ladies prefer a man with a little stubble and an intelligent wit.

Oh no, the stubble is itchy, they like a smooth man that can make them laugh!

Ya know what women really love? [He takes another drink.]

Power. I swear if yer in a position of some kinda power, like a knight or a high ranking member of something, or if ya have yer own wanted poster up, women love that. They climb all over ya!

Wanted posters, huh?

[You're going out into the desert alone? It's not safe out there! You need an ace body guard! You're in luck I happen to be-]

["Help! It's Vash the Stampede!"]

[NO! Wait! Don't go! Oh man...]

...I really doubt wanted posters work.

Depends on what yer wanted for, how big the bounty is, details details.

So are we talking petty criminal? Medium bounty? [Sixty billion double dollars worth...]

Medium. Too high and it scares 'em off, too low and yer worthless.

I guess that makes sense.

But I still don't think they work very well.

I wouldn't know, never been on one myself, I was just callin' yer bluff!

My bluff!? [Of course, you could mean that he's a ladies man, but Vash is going to overreact instead and think you figured out he has a rather... large bounty on his head.]

[Oh this could be fun~]

Yup, called yer bluff. Ya seem to have a thing against wanted posters. Is it because of the whole love and peace thing?

Y-yeah... that's it. [He can roll with that.]

I'm onto you Vash. You're a hardened criminal, a mastermind of destruction!

Ah, who am I kiddin'. Yer a harmless puppy!

So what should we drink next?

Aw! Come on! I could totally be a harden criminal! [He raises his hands and hooks his fingers in mock claws.] Rawr! I could be a vicious humanoid typhoon! Labeled the first humanoid natural disaster! Oooh! So scary~~~~

We'd need to get you an eyepatch or somethin' ta even make you look remotely threatening.

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